I am a bad writer and a P.R. marketing/advertising nightmare, depending on your perspective.
Flat out, I do not write m/m fiction, but some of my work is in the gay fiction genre, and I don’t write enough sex scenes (according to some). I don’t focus my stories around sex. Sure there are writers who can create believable characters and situations and ALSO include copious sex scenes, but my stories which feature it are about gay life, love and relationship as I’ve personally experienced or observed and that’s what I aim them to be. They are about love and real people. Sex might be mentioned, and it is an eventual reality for most people who are in love and accept each other, or their mutual needs, in some way. But I don’t write a story simply to focus on the cleverness or detailed nature of the sex scenes. I get the distinct feeling that many m/m readers or those who think anything with gay characters in it has to have lots of sex to really be “authentic” or that’s what it’s going to include.
I think too many people confuse gay fiction with erotica and/or m/m romance or fiction. That gay fiction is going to be about sex or focussed on sex, which is why, in the first place, I have an issue with people automatically slapping a “gay” or “m/m” label or characterization on a story because it has gay or bisexual characters in it, or the central romance might be between those characters although there are several other things going on in the story besides the relationship and especially more than sex.
Why is it people assume if it’s a book or story with gay characters it is going to heavily rely on or involve sex? Why do they think graphic details need to be used? While answering an opinion question on an anime/manga board a couple of years ago, the question being “why do so many females love yaoi”, I got bashed and fumed at because of my answer which was, “Like many who are on the ‘outside looking in’ as it were, many are fascinated by seeing or reading what they themselves do not or could not do. It’s like a peep/freak show for them. I seldom if ever read/view something just for sex, especially gay sex, because if I wanted to see that I’d simply put mirrors on my ceiling. It’s no particular thrill, and I am much more interested in relatial dynamics, emotional conflicts and resolutions.
Most readers, or so I’ve been told by publishers, who are seeking gay “romance” or fiction are actually seeking erotica. If your story doesn’t have “heavy” content, then you are going to be received tepid at best. I received a complaint because I didn’t have enough sex content “Good story, but not enough sex!”, but I refuse to add it “just because”. “Mainstream” won’t often take a story, especially a short story because it has male protagonists in a possible romantic situation together or especially if it has sex in it if you are not a “well known name”. Talk about conundrum!
What this suggests to me about m/m readers in general, is that they still by majority see gay males, gay relationships, as only being about sex, or primarily so. They want to get their titillating kicks but if a story is a really a romance, in the classic sense, where characterization and story is foremost, not so much. I take it as a badge of honour that I remain true to my stories, my characters, myself.
To me gay romance or fiction is not just a “side point” or for that matter even a great hobby or desire…or obsession. It’s my life. It’s what I live everyday. Sure, some readers, like any other genre, from spy thrillers to sci-fi, are seeking escapism. They want a vista to temporarily escape from their own life and look into another’s, some are seeking reading to turn them on and make them fantasize sex further, a type of sex they have never experienced or more exactly: never can. If they are females, straight or gay, seeking to know “gay” sex between men, they cannot have it even if they are proficient with a strap-on and have willing “bottoms”.
Maybe they’re just wanting a sexy slice for amusement, and at the very real risk of alienating some readers, but hell I’m being honest, I don’t feel many consider the emotions behind it. These are characters in a book true, but they are based on real life, in my writing anyway, real situations I’ve endured or been a part of. BUT for those only seeking sex, I say, more power to them, and have no objection to them finding what they want. There’s plenty of it out there.
We are a “cabinet of curiosities”.
I write my stories and I am in them. The struggles, the agonies, the joys and pain of what I’ve endured or experienced. Not to say other writers don’t include that, because they do, but when I read a writer saying, “I got tired of writing about m/f so I thought I’d write about m/m and use my imagination”, I think that belittles what gays really experience, especially when what they write is mostly about sex as if we are ravenous beasts only concerned about fucking, that every expression or phrase someone says, everything we see we will twist into a sexual innuendo. And there’s always a current of resentment in the waters, in a way. You have some gay or bisexual writers who don’t like or won’t read female written m/m works, or at least they are reluctant to.
If you’re gay and male and a writer and you’re “with” or published by a certain house many of which are female based and run, and that’s the majority of the writers on staff, if you don’t play the pretty and helpfully to answer their questions of lurid details so they can “work them in.” If you don’t laugh at their jokes or questions which often border an attitude so stereotypical and demeaning for gays you are seen as anti-social and spiritless, well…I choose to be PERCEIVED anti-social.
Although I’ve written stories with more graphic sexual content, in answering an email query as to why I don’t include more….some stories, some characters need it, it is what they are, or the setting, but with some others, the tone and mood….it is not necessary.
Although I’ve been an editor far longer than a submitting and published author, I see exactly why someone like me might be considered a bad m/m fiction writer. It’s because I don’t, won’t and refuse to write to suit some readers or publishing houses’ demands. It just reminds me of the people who love the media frenzy over celebrities. They just want more and more salacious details. When someone doesn’t produce or allow them, then they are disliked or deemed difficult. If they don’t “play” along.
It’s not arrogance the reason I do it, nor condescension, it’s just that my characters and the situations they find themselves in are part of my life. They project some aspect of it. Just like I won’t dance and pose for pics in general at a pow-wow from the a person who wants to take a momento away from a “real live red Indian”! Sorry, that’s how it looks to me with some readers. I won’t submit to the typing and include more sex just to be popular, get accepted, and have more stories published. My sales will be dented since I don’t “play pretty” but if I fell in to that, it would be not just losing what I am, who I am, but it would be a betrayal of myself and what I believe in.
Hello again. We share much of the same philosophy about writing. My books are very unexplicit, but to my amusement several reviewers have referred to them as have a definite erotic slant (Victor Banis was one who said that.) If they do, it’s pretty accidental. And I, too, will never add steaminess to sell a book. My books, especially the newer one, Counterpoint, get rave reviews but I know they don’t sell particularly well, at least on Amazon. But I figure the book is what it is because that’s what it is, and the characters are what they because that’s what they are. I think I’d love to exchange emails with you, if you’d like to contact me. I’m glad you posted this article.
I might instead use the word “sensual” instead of erotic, because erotic is a label again of a certain sort: sexuality, while sensuality is about feeling good through use of our senses, natural honesty and exchange. I completely understand what you say about selling, and realize for my type of style also…high sales are not going to come. Doing it for the love of.
Thank you.
The novel I am trying to land an agent with, has a main character that is gay. It is a fantasy. A well meaning friend of mine suggested I promote it as gay fiction. I didn’t want to. For the reasons you bring up.
There is sex in the book, but the “camera pans away” before anything explicit happens. I didn’t want to write the sex scenes because I felt they slowed down the story.
So I did not want anyone to suggest to add more sex, either gay or straight, just to make it more “marketable”. Because that is not what is important to the story. The importance is the friendships that develop, and how the characters come together to defeat “the evil”.
It was nice to hear that you are struggling with this too. I still don’t know if I will send it to agents that handle GBLT fiction.
Well, the first thing I’d say is it is not necessary to have an agent to get your book published. There are hundreds of publishers out there accepting submissions. Not all suggest you add sex or more sex. Their guidelines usually state what they’re looking for, so you can decide beforehand if they might be a fit for your story instead of the other way around, as with an agent.
I’m published at Dreamspinner Press, and while many of their writers write m/m which have the higher sex factor, they accepted my historical fantasy “A Lieutenant’s Love” and there are no explicit sex scenes. I also have a title at JMS Books, and they specifically state in their policy: “Stories need not contain graphic sex scenes or a romantic/sexual relationship between characters. However, if your story is erotic, there is no minimum sexual content requirement. Romance stories where the sex is alluded to (“fade to black”) or is described in literary terms are welcome.”
My point in writing the article wasn’t that I was struggling, because I’m not. I was pointing out some of what goes on and my disagreement with it. If someone likes how I write, I’m pleased, but if someone doesn’t…I am not surprised, and it’s entirely cool. I simply reject the formula so many readers expect that if a story has gay characters then it is primarily about sex or there is explicit sex.
It’s at Queer Magazine Online, which I also write for, but I’ve an article: “Is there a clear line between M/M and Gay Fiction?” as, arguably, I believe there is.
Again thank you,
I think we are on the same wave length.
I did not set out to write a story with a gay character, he came out while I was writing. His personal arch starts with the slaughter of the students he was with, including his lover. Originally, they were to be close friends. But when I wrote the scene where he finally tells someone what happened. His reaction to the one’s death came out far deeper than just friends.
And as for the agent, it’s a personal contest of mine. I do have books out as self published. But I wanted some nay sayers to see that I did try the traditional route and list why the story was rejected. (My favorite reason so far: One character is too old, we could market it if they were all in their late teens)
Again, thank you. I enjoyed the article.
It’s me to ask question, but since his feelings were deep for his friend, then he had to be gay? I think it’s most important to write for oneself, but perspectives are different. Very good luck with your contest.