The Special Energy of Now

As a close friend said to me, when I was remarking about the craziness I’ve felt lately, unusual emotions and feelings that are not really uncharacteristic for me.

As even some psychologists and others have noted through research: humans, as a whole, may behave differently during particular astronomical events. This year has been one of many unique ones. More solar flare activity, eclipses and celestial phenomenon. As each of us are a part of the universe, whether we are fully cognizant of it or not, these events would of course affect us in some way.

Thinking about the way I’ve felt lately, on the way to the restaurant, I wrote the notes below. Not a poem, just free form thought.

“Energy is the ultimate, irreducible essence of the universe…” PCSN.CA


“It’s an internal quaking.

I can feel it in my shoulders and belly. It is not fear.

It is powerful. It’s emotion, I believe, but which one? I do not know.

I wonder: can others sense if not see it in me?

Vibration, intense, quivering, contained explosion, reactions exponentially increasing, needing release.

But release of what?

It’s more than sexual. Sex would not be enough. It has to be a release on all levels

of my being.

How? Through what medium? What trigger?

It almost makes me sick, as if I am drunk but fully cognizant and clear-minded.

My head aches from the power of it, the passion. My heart drums, my teeth clench.

I think my hands are shaking but when I hold them out they are still.

The sun, the planets, the universe, the bee, the ant, the wave: I feel them all.”


I thought later about what that kind of intensity I feel can be assuaged by, what can equal and eventually overcome it so that I might crest and then fully relax. And the first thing I thought of was the unparelleled joy I can feel when drumming and singing or hearing it such as at a pow-wow (a story of one I attended here), as well as the connection I feel with people, the earth and universe when I enter the circle. Making it happened today because I also got a good review of my latest release, Silence Is Multi-Colored In My World. That dearly beloved friend also deeply felt the power of the universe.

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2 thoughts on “The Special Energy of Now

  1. For me it has been happening in my thyroid: like I need to scream but fear my chords will crack. The energy has been powerful and humbling.

    1. Mine all came to a really emotional climax last night/this morning. Chest is actually sore, am resting today. Well, LOL its after 7pm here already and I didn’t wake up until 4 or so when my roommate thought I was dead or something.

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