So adjustment disorder is a thing? In addition to PTSD, anxiety, melancholia, depression and related disorders as diagnoses, all can be very different in people of color. It basically boils down to having lived a lifetime in other dominant societies who continually try to assimilate or control you to keep themselves comfortable, overtly/aggressively (verbal correction/admonishments, policies/laws, societal “norms”, biased policing) and covertly/passively (advertisement, historical amnesia in textbooks, media, etc.).
It is frustrating and exhausting to have to deal with such pressures day after day. So, that’s when you need to be around your people or people who don’t behave, react or think that way, or normalize such behavior. That’s when you need to sweat, to smudge, to pray, and I do it alone as the circumstances have it, but you need people who understand what you’re going through because they’ve gone through it. They know and you don’t even have to say.
This is my fifth year exclusively being in Germany, and close to the 15th where I’ve visited yearly for several months. The last decade was primarily for necessary medical treatment for my son, for his well-being and continuing mobility, which some don’t know about, besides his having Asperger’s syndrome and social disorders because of abyssmal treatment he received in school, from peers, medical staff, etc. He needs extra support, and by nature, the older they get, it remains so because people have less tolerance or understanding with an adult looking person with special challenges…and young people like him know that. Makes the anxiety worse.
All the while, people never asking any question, just assuming your motives or “who/what” you are, and I do get criticism questioning my commitment and connection to indigenous issues and peoples. All day and night that is with me. I consciously only work with native issues and rights, continuing my research and studies when I could have a successful position again as a chef or in a former profession. It’s almost physical pain to be away now, and my family are not in well health, yet it is still necessary at the moment. That’s life though! You keep going on the best you can and be happy with what you have, thankful for what you have while still working to achieve personal and collective goals. Continuing this journey.
Specifically though? Into August, entering post-production of the documentary I’m directing, Forget Winnetou: Going Beyond Native Stereotypes in Germany. Pleased to say upcoming I’m going to film a few more interviews, but learn more about this critically needed discussion by visiting the film website & following on social media.