Contemplations on a System of a Down song, and the unintentionally offended

“My cock is much bigger than yours,
my cock can walk right through the door,
with a feeling so pure
it’s got you screaming back for more!”

“Can’t you see that I love my cock?
can’t you see that you love my cock?
can’t you see that we love my cock?”

A few lines from a System of a Down song I’m listening to at the moment which made me laugh out loud, because it just perfectly summed up how I’m been feeling about a situation that happened on this website several days ago that left me rather bemused. I’d attempted to write my feelings down about it, work it out, as it were, in a mature and rational way, thoughtful. Meh! as my 13 year old son would say. This did it just fine LOL PERFECTLY SUMMED IT UP!

I swear sometimes it’s why I generally stay well clear of gay forums in general, I just like to talk to people, because all too often there seems a power struggle of some kind going on. A “one up’s manship”, “I know more than you do, you should listen to me” and I sure as hell don’t participate in anything like that. It rather amuses me to a point, but only to a point that is. When you don’t agree, when you say thanks but no thanks, or ask for explanation, someone stomps off in a huff.

Some of it is harmless, it’s just how things go. The ol’ “my dick is bigger than yours” silliness that has seemed to go on among guys for several thousand years. I ignore it now just like I did in grade school. But when it gets into the malicious type of snarkiness that can be damaging, this is far less amusing. It’s not funny at all. I don’t let it bother me over much, but I would be a liar if I said it didn’t affect me. Of course it does.

I replied to a review. I reply to most reviews at least to give thanks that they took their time to write a comment, and well and genuinely I appreciate that, because they certainly didn’t have to. They don’t have to read what I write, and I appreciate they gave me a chance. When someone takes exception to a comment you replied and writes you a very long, nasty, insulting message, it of course gives you pause, especially when they misinterpreted a question and decided to try to quash you beneath their heel.

Instead of being angry, because I wasn’t when I received the message, I realized they had misunderstood something I said. I tried to explain it for them although they didn’t bother to ask. It really gaves me a sense of freedom, of lightness, it was so strange. It was uplifting. Weird, yes perhaps.

I knew I was not the names they called me, the ugly phrases. I even knew the ill-wishes and dire predictions leveled at me about my writing and my writing career, were nothing and would be nothing unless I made them come true. I ended my reply to them with a sincere appreciation because I was relieved they had shown me how they could really be, and what I was not. I feel the degree cooler these days, the times I now receive no reply to my questions or comments as I did before. That’s entirely fine.

I make enough mistakes. Do it every day in some way or another, and my mind is such it usually razes me through the night and leaves me sleepless if I’ve not acknowledged my wrongdoing. I apologize, I don’t have a problem with it, it takes nothing away from me, and it gives a vital thing to the other person that my error took away from them. It’s only right I return a peace (yes, I mean peace and not piece) to them. That’s the way I evolved and was taught. When I’ve not done anything wrong, and know I’ve not, especially when I tried to ask and understand, and I still get such treatment. What can I or anyone do in that situation? Bow out gracefully. I was taught that also. Life’s too damn short. If someone wants to be biased against you, they will. Move on.

So! When someone tells me their cock is bigger than mine, I just say, ok whatever sure, and I can smile and it bothers me not in the slightest because we, they and I, are not ever going to find out, and in the end it’s irrelevant.

P.S. Oh yeah, thank you System of a Down: your eloquency in mocking the world and everyone else with uncanny accuracy and subtle humour I fully salute! The sheer irreverence of your lyrics! Love it! Pow!

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