The Music I Don’t Write To

“What music do you listen to, if any, when you write?”

When I stopped to think about that question, I realized that much of the time I am not listening to anything when I am writing. Perhaps there’s the minimal background sounds of Twitter updates on Tweetdeck or the white noise machine that is almost always on in my work/bedroom, but I seldom actually turn music on to write.

That led me to a further consideration that I rarely if ever “set up” a time to write, nor do I have a certain place I consider special in order to do so. The desk that sits in front the window is where my laptop usually resides and my files are all stored, so that’s where I go.

In that particular room the amount of trash, empty soda cans, unfolded laundry in baskets and yesterday discarded clothing varies from day to day. It’s workable madness for me, but I know neat and tidy people would be horrified. My writing, like my cleaning is sporadic. Not that I don’t work at it every day,  I do. When someone says they try for a certain K or pages, I usually end up writing ten pages a day but then I have nearly a dozen “WIPS” or works in progress. It gets spread out.

Similarly in cleaning, I do a little bit here and there for the most part, and then I get the “eye of the tiger” some random day and totally raze the house so that every pencil is perfectly placed, every DVD or book linedly neatly on their shelves. With my projects, that equates to a story which takes me four solid hours of nearly non-stop typing and a book is complete. Just like that.

I do things in “spells” and “moods”, and though some people (like my sister) might think me moody, I am almost always at the same temperament and intensity level. How I react is dependent on my energy level and health for that day.

“Writing is a familiar ghost for me, wandering in and out of my conscienceness, through walls to disappear from view and suddenly rematerializes at my side. Writing is like my taste in music, and the variety in my characters who all still share a common base equation: passion. Whether it’s quiet passion, or bold, or for a career or ideal, so the same for music.”–Red Haircrow

My most recent published (2 Dec. 2010) fiction is “Katrdeshtr’s Redemption”, Book One in the series “The Night Cat”. My main character is Russian. Kat is an incorrigible mischief maker, beautiful, exotic but darkly vicious upon a whim. When I think of a theme song for him, it would be something by Apocalyptica, the Finnish band who turned the world on it’s proverbial ear with their sexification of the cello whose liquid tones rising to a shriek after rumbling in deep tones makes me move. It’s impossible not too.

I’m not one to speak or reference sex often, but flat out, this song makes me want to fuck. It reminds me of the black and red of space when your eyes are closed as you kiss and lick along hot skin, as your teeth test the firmness of the flesh, as you enter the heat of someone’s body and they groan….It reminds me of my Katrdeshtr. So, I would queue this up before I started writing, to “get in the mood” as it were, though I would so become so concentrated on the story, I wouldn’t know whether it was still playing or not.

For other stories, like my novel work in process, The Agony of Joy which is of the pain and courage it takes to release the past so you can finally, truly loved and be loved. It is bittersweet and poignant. It is about a certain resignation those of us who’ve been abused often fall into. The resignation that allows you to accept, expect or excuse further abuse. The beginning to mid-point of the story, this is the song I play for it and the scent which fills my nostrils is the cool, wood of Hugo Boss cologne which is the scent of the cottage part of the story is set in. The same cottage I stayed at in my journal entry, “Cold Memories: Germany January 2004”.

A Death in Venice by Mahler–Der Tod in Venedig
Symphony no.5 Adagietto

Excerpt from “The Agony of Joy”. If ever there was one story by me which isn’t a direct memoir, this onel reveals scenes of my own struggle with acceptance, life and death, love and loss.

Blurb: “The life, love and struggle of two men to overcome their separate past agonies and allow themselves to experience the full joy of true love.”

“Former model turned actor Adrian Lee can barely list age range ’23-29′ on his resumé anymore nor stand his life of empty social events and appearances, meaningless roles and casual partners. When he meets Alexander Skizetsky by clever arrangement of his agent, the enigmatic yet infinitely attractive Russian kindles a little light of hope in his aching heart. Yet even the beginnings of a romance beyond his wildest dreams cannot assuage a life spiraling out of control.

The long estrangement from his devout Irish parents and family and the dark secrets they all share combine to drive him to the brink of despair though Lexx is determined to stay by his side. After locking away his own memories of betrayal and loss, Lexx had decided never to love again but something in Adrian spurs the noblest intentions of his formerly jaded heart. Returning in pilgrimmage to his homeland, he brings Adrian along on a journey of rebirth, revelation and romance.”

Again, I need only to listen to that exquisite symphony to feel my Adrian and Alexander’s struggle against their own fears and disappointments as they reach out and find solace in each other.

Quite a range in musical tastes, but then I love nearly at music all some time or another.

Soon….I’ll reveal my music for “A Lieutenant’s Love” and “Night Shift.