Very pleased to share that I was awarded the 2023 Ma’iingan Scholarship during the annual conference of the Society of American Indian/Alaska Native Psychologists in June. From their description, it is defined by someone:
“Who is working with or for our gender expansive relatives. Terminology is evolving and fluctuating when addressing our gender expansive relatives including two-spirit, LGBTQ+, gender fluid, nonbinary and other terms. Gender expansive is considered the inclusive term in our field. Our relatives with non-cisgender identities face discrimination and marginalization in multiple settings (home, school, workplace, medical). Please nominate any SIP member you wish to support by sending a short summary and why this individual should be recognized for their support of our Native gender expansive relatives. The nominated individual can be engaged in research, direct services or in an innovative intervention that supports our Native gender expansive relatives.”
I have posted a part of my submitted entry for consideration:
When my son, who had been assigned a female gender as birth, revealed to me just after his tenth birthday that that had been wrong, we embarked on the journey of gender confirmation care and surgeries, losing and gaining friendship, community and family from those who refused to accept this necessity. In the Native community of our area, where military families had settled, of which we were also, we enjoyed learning and interacting with Natives from many nations, Lakota, Blackfeet, Anishinaabe, Tohono Oodham and Cherokee, with some elders who taught us about Two Spirit persons and the various traditions and histories.
Many of the children, including my son, had questions, and I was surprised the number of young people who expressed such feelings, just as I experienced growing up non-binary. There was so much trauma each of them has endured, just as I had. Just like Indigenous people as a whole. I realized then that my work in law enforcement was no longer compatible with anything about myself, my heritage, my life, my son, and my world, and it served no purpose except my own egoism. I resigned from the municipal police department and returned to university in 2009 at 37 years old, finishing my first degree in Psychology, and my Master’s in 2019 in Native American Studies, research topics being Indigenous intergenerational historic trauma and suicide prevention. My research and life focuses became helping heal my own and others’ trauma, specifically focusing on Indigenous and GLBTIIQ2S “deserves”. And I say “deserves” in the place of “needs”, which is more commonly used, because I believe we don’t need healing and understanding, we *deserve* healing and understanding.
During these years, as medical expenses became overwhelming and treatment options limited for my son and myself in the USA, we decided to move to Germany, where I had been born into an American military family, and still had social health insurance which was affordable. However, we soon experienced firsthand the prevalence of Native stereotypes and the misuse of Native cultures, traditions and peoples in Germany. My research and work expanded on how to combat such behaviors, but also examining their source and motivation, often stemming from other kinds of trauma and a disconnection from healthy cultures and support systems.
I directed and produced my first documentary, “Forget Winnetou! Loving in the Wrong Way” (2018) exploring the connection between the exploitation and misuse of Native cultures and other marginalized and minoritized groups such as transgender, nonbinary and gender non-conforming persons. This has resonated in many, and I continue to present and lecture on Indigenous trauma and gender related themes, such as recently in Kiel with Culturitical and Oldenburg University, Germany, while working on my second documentary, Almost. The next film explores transgenderism and the history and effects of stigma and prejudice, filming begins again in the next weeks.
Among the newer Native ex-apts and visitors in Germany and Europe, I have found many were also Two Spirit, nonbinary, transgender or genderfluid, some having left abusive families and Native communities in North America. Many are younger, and trying to navigate the misogynistic hate-filled or apathetic world we find ourselves in, while seeking genuine engagement and re/connection to those who recognize and honor our Indigenous histories, worldviews and realities. In my view, this extends beyond the culturally Native boundaries of North America, and includes those from European nations also.
In the spirit of these ties, on March 31, 2023, the Transgender Day of Visibility, along with Manuel Ricardo Garcia, a Two-Spirit FtM person of Jicarilla Apache/Coahuiltecan heritage, we published, Varied Spirits, an anthology “dedicated to amplifying the voices of creatives who identify as transgender, non-binary, gender non-conforming or other self-identifying terms both ancient and historic, and Native/Indigenous persons who identify as Two-Spirit. It included contributions from creatives from Ukraine, Canada, USA, Mexico and Germany.”
I remain committed to helping others heal, in improving myself, to further reconnecting to Indigenous ways and insights, especially in context with my Apache ancestors and cultural ways, with which I feel the most affinity. I have previously served as an elected member of the Board of Directors of the Native Research Network, as a SIP Mentorship Committee liaison, and rapporteur for conferences on Indigenous Suicide Prevention created by NASEM. I would describe myself as an early career psychologist, because due to the amount of time I needed to dedicate to my son’s care and well-being, I must selectively work directly in the field of psychology as a psychologist.
To what does Ma’iingan refer?
“Anishinaabe teachings tell of the original man asking for a companion and ma’iingan/wolf was sent to walk, talk and play with the original man. They became like brothers. They came to realize they were brothers to all creation. Creator told them it was time to go their separate paths. “What shall happen to one of you will also happen to the other. Each of you will be feared, respected and misunderstood by the people that will later join you on this earth.” This has come true. Both wolf and Indians have clan systems and a tribe, both have strong loyalties, both have had their land taken from them, both have been hunted, both have been pushed to the brink of destruction. Now the gifts of both are being recognized in various ways. We survive and thrive because we support one another.”
Red Haircrow 
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